Saturday, February 11, 2012


Warning: this post contains mature content. You may want to skip it if you are under 40.

Of course, I am (almost) kidding :)


One day, my daughter came from school and said:
"You are the oldest mom in my class!"
Hmmm. I am 44. She is 9. It may be true.

"Well, honey", I said, trying to keep my cool, "it is quite possible, but many mothers must be close to my age".
"Nope" she said. Kids are cruel like that. "Emily's Mom is 32 and Julia's mom is 29, Amy's mom is 35, and all the others are in their 30's or 20's".

That stopped me in my tracks. 20's???

OK, so I know it is none of my business, but it just did not seem to add up. Shoot me but  I googled few of them. Wouldn't you? Sure enough, they are all in their 40s! (we do breed late in this area, I tell you).

Needless to say, I couldn't say anything in my defense however tempted I was. Darn it! The last thing I need is my daughter confronting her friends with "My mom checked it on the internet and your mom (the one supposedly 32) is really 49!"

Now, my daughter loves her numbers and knows exactly how old everybody in the family is, how much older than another person, what year they were born, etc (OCD anyone?) . Maybe other kids just don't know their mom's ages? Surely their mothers are not lying to them?

Also, I know that when I was younger, I always remembered exactly how old I was. Somehow, I am not so aware of it anymore. I was recently filling up a form at the doctor's office (so indiscreet, all those questions about your age and weight) and I had to literally stop and think, to calculate my age. I was shocked with the result. Seriously, I remember how I was always the youngest person in the office. Until one day, I think I came back from long maternity leave and I realized I am the oldest. Huh? How did it happen???

So maybe they just forgot?

Then I remembered another incident.

I was driving in the car with my daughter, my BFF and her two kids, who are roughly the same age as my younger daughter. Mind you, I met my BFF in college and she is one year older than me. '9 months', she always corrects me. The question of age came up again.

"How old are you, mom?" asked my friend's older daughter innocently.
"35" answered my BFF, winking at me.
"My mom is 43!!!" exclaimed my offspring earnestly (this was last year).
"Wow, your mom is soooo much older than our mom!" cried both girls with satisfaction.
"Thanks" I almost murdered my friend with my look. She shifted a little uncomfortably in her seat.

There you go, I am the oldest mom.
* * *
Do you ever lie about your age? Well, how about just letting people think you are younger?

I do it sometimes. For example, I have a 23 year old daughter and, of course, every time this tidbit of information comes out, I can almost hear the calculator turning on, in my interlocutor's head. So conveniently, I just don't mention it. Hopefully, if I play my cards right, they will think she is my husband's daughter from previous marriage.

Unfortunately, this clever scheme collapses because I forget to tell my dear hubby about his prior nuptials. "Your daughter is already 9? But you look so young!" my coworker compliments me at the Holiday party. I beam quickly. "Oh, we also have a 23-year-old!" my unconcerned-about-his-age spouse proudly volunteers. I feel seriously betrayed, as the coworker turns to me, inspecting my face for wrinkles.

* * *
How comfortable are you with sharing your age? Is is any different IRL than on the internet? Do you think there is a breaking point when it becomes an issue. Is 40 the magic number?

Please share, it wouldn't be any fun without you!


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